Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in hadesmuse's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, April 7th, 2007
11:40 pm	What a day... Heath would have been 41 today. Happy birthday, baby... Current Mood: gloomy (Comment on this)
Friday, March 9th, 2007
7:19 pm	My stupidity reigns supreme... And, in that line of thinking, here's a letter I plan on sending to someone, thoughtfully cut for those that don't want to wade through it... ( Letter ) Now I'm kicking myself in the ass, wondering just exactly how I could have been so stupid as to believe...believe that someone could be that interested in me, that someone could have those feelings for me...so, color me an idiot. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 25th, 2007
11:50 am	So..... School's still going strong. I've less than five months left, actually. Still on the director's honor roll, but I'm not taking bets on how long that's going to last. Pediatrics is a nightmare. There's so much to cram into such a short period of time. Not to mention the fact that our instructor was a peds nurse for 27 million years...ok, I obviously exaggerate...but she was a peds nurse for 20 plus years. Talk about being picky to the point of being nearly anal retentive. *frowns* At any rate, clinicals are going well. We started our specialty rotations this week. I caught mental health for my first specialty rotation. Wasn't quite what I expected, even though I couldn't say for sure exactly what it was that I was expecting. Been studying for the peds test tomorrow. I've been going to a study group. I think it's helped...I just hope it's helped enough. I've been putting in study time like I've never put in before now in nursing school. Everything else has come so very easily to me, and all I've ever done was take notes during lecture in class and done the assigned homework. Peds is a horse of a different color. It's hard for me to concentrate on the class to begin with, and that may be because I have NO desire to work in peds. One must not show judgement, regardless of the situation, and knowing myself as I do, I know the first time a child that's been abused came in, I'd want to jump over the bed and kill said abuser. So, I can honestly state that I will not be working in peds any time during my career...it's a self-preservation thing, obviously. I find myself feeling a bit out of sorts, edgy even. Not sure what's bringing that about for sure, but I've got a couple of pretty good ideas. I think I'm simply tired of being alone. Not discounting my boys by any stretch of the imagination, but there's a place that they cannot fill. I keep waiting for lightening to strike. It hasn't. And maybe it won't. I've already had one bolt from the heavens, perhaps that's the only one I'll get. Regardless, I'm not going to settle for anything less. May make for a perpetually lonely life, but I care for myself too much to settle out. Another part of the edgy feeling is, I'm sure, the fact that winter has never been one of my favorite times of year, and this winter has been a doozie around here. First snow of the year was a foot and a half of the wet stuff, then came the ice storm. I'm thankful we didn't get slammed like the Denver area did, but what we got was bad enough for these parts. I had approximately 5 inches of ice on everything on my property. Thankfully there was no damage...at least none that we've been able to ascertain. We got off a lot better than a bunch of folks in this area. We never lost power, which was a very good thing. Over 100,000 electric customers in the state did, and approximately 5,000 of those still don't have power. At any rate, this bitterly cold, nasty weather has really given me the blues...more so than winter usually accomplishes. I had to refinance my loan one more time. I simply was getting too far behind to think that I could make it until school's out. It wouldn't have been so bad, but my daughter ran up an ungodly phone bill before she moved out, and doesn't see the need to pay me for what she ran up. I also had a problem with money disappearing from my wallet...but that seems to have stopped now. Utility bills seem to have dropped, as well, so it's all good financially. So, at any rate, a loan that was over half paid now is a full loan again, with 42 months of payments staring me in the face. It's ok, though...it'll get us through, and that'll be fine. Once I start working, I can make principle payments on it and get it paid off in much less than the 42 months and save myself a chunk of interest change. Ok...for those of you that made it this far, thanks for reading my drivel. ;) I guess the rant, or pity party...whichever...is now officially over for the time being! :) Current Mood: tired (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 18th, 2007
10:34 pm	Doggie Diet I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh! I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital. I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me. Current Mood: amused (2 Comments |Comment on this)
10:31 pm	A few facts that certain people don't want you to know *Snitched this from my oldest child...* Found this earlier today, it's really good reading. Getting The Facts STRAIGHT About Banning "Assault Weapons" FACT: "Assault Weapons" are RARELY ever used in crimes - Top 10 Most Frequently Traced Guns Used In Crimes In 1994 (BEFORE the Federal "Assault Weapon" Ban): 1) Lorcin P25 (pistol) 2) Davis Ind. P380 (pistol) 3) Raven Arms MP25 (pistol) 4) Lorcin L25 (pistol) 5) Mossberg 500 (shotgun) 6) Phoenix Arms Raven (pistol) 7) Jennings J22 (pistol) 8) Ruger P89 (pistol) 9) Glock 17 (pistol) 10) Bryco 38 (pistol) Source: US Dept. Justice. FACT: "Assault Weapons" are RARELY ever used to kill police officers - Calibers Most Often Used To Kill Police Officers In 1994 (BEFORE the Federal "Assault Weapon" Ban): 1) .38 caliber handgun - 25.2% 2) .357 magnum handgun - 12.1% 3) 9mm handgun - 9.5% 5) 12 gauge shotgun - 7.4% 6) .22 caliber handgun - 5.4% 7) .22 caliber rifle - 4.4% Source: US Dept. Justice. According to the most recent detailed report, Dept. of Justice; Firearm Use by Offender... FACT: "Assault weapons" are RARELY possessed by criminals during commission of a crime - State and Federal prison inmates armed during the crime for which they are being incarcerated: (table 2) * 9.9% of state and 7.3% of federal inmates possessed "single-shot" firearms. * 7.9% of state and 7.7% of federal inmates possessed conventional semiautomatic firearm. * 1.5% of state and 1.7% of federal inmates possessed military-style semi-auto or full-auto firearms. FACT: "Assault weapons" are RARELY involved in ANY crimes - State and Federal prison inmates who have ever possessed firearms during ANY crime: (table 2) * 14.2% of state and 10.6% of federal inmates possessed "single-shot" firearm during ANY crime. * 10.9% of state and 9.8% of federal inmates possessed conventional semiautomatic firearm during ANY crime. * 2.5% of state and 2.3% of federal inmates possessed military-style semi-auto or full-auto firearms during ANY crime. FACT: "Assault weapons" possessed by criminals during crimes are usually obtained ILLEGALLY - Of State prison inmates who possessed military-style semi-auto or full-auto firearms in crimes for which they are incarcerated: (table 10) * 48.5% obtained them through illegal sources (theft, drug dealer, black market, etc.) * 25.2% obtained them from family or friend. * 19.3% obtained them from retail sale. * 1.9% obtained them from gun shows. (so much for that supposed gun-show "loophole" being a major source of "assault weapons" used in crime) FACT: "Assault weapons" that are possessed during a crime are the LEAST LIKELY type of firearm to be actually discharged during the crime. FACT: "Assault weapons" that are possessed during a crime are the LEAST LIKELY type of firearm to be used to injure the victim. FACT:"Assault weapons" that are possessed during a crime are the LEAST LIKELY type of firearm to be used to kill the victim. "ASSAULT WEAPONS" HAVE NEVER BEEN A SIGNIFICANT FACTOR IN GUN-CRIMES. FACT: Studies demonstrated that the "Assault Weapon" ban "FAILED" to reduce gun-murders: "We were unable to detect any reduction to date in two types of gun murders that are thought to be closely associated with assault weapons, those with multiple victims in a single incident and those producing multiple bullet wounds per victim. We did find a reduction in killings of police officers since mid-1995. However, the available data are partial and preliminary, and the trends may have been influenced by law enforcement agency policies regarding bullet-proof vests." 5.2.3. Assault Weapons and Crime - "...assault weapons do not appear to be used disproportionately in violent crime relative to other guns" "Overall, assault weapons accounted for about 1% of guns associated with homicides, aggravated assaults, and robberies" and "only 2% of guns associated with drug crimes were assault weapons." 5.2.4. Unbanned Handguns Capable of Accepting Large-capacity Magazines - "The ban on large-capacity magazines does not seem to have discouraged the use of these guns." 6.2.1. Trends in Multiple-Victim Gun Homicides - "[Studies] failed to produce any evidence that the ban reduced the number of victims per gun homicide incident." 6.3.4. Conclusions - "[Studies] failed to produce evidence of a post-ban reduction in the average number of gunshot wounds per case or in the proportion of cases involving multiple wounds." 6.4.2. Assault Weapons and Homicides of Police Officers - "In sum, police officers are rarely murdered with assault weapons." THE DEFINITIVE CONGRESSIONAL REPORT (link here) ON THE "ASSAULT WEAPON" BAN SHOWED IT "FAILED" TO REDUCE GUN-MURDERS. FACT: "Assault weapons" are NOT "machine guns". They are "semi-automatic" firearms meaning one pull of the trigger equals one bullet discharged while the next bullet is then chambered ready for the next trigger pull. "Assault weapons" are not full-auto firearms. They do NOT "spray" bullets with a single pull of the trigger. And they do not shoot bullets that are "higher power" or "more lethal" than any ordinary deer-hunter's rifle does. "ASSAULT WEAPONS" ARE NOT MACHINE-GUNS. FACT: The "Assault weapon" Ban had NOTHING to do with silencers. One of the cosmetic features addressed by the "Assault Weapon" Ban included flash-suppressors which reduce the bright muzzle-glare ONLY in the eyes of the shooter in low-light conditions. Flash-suppressors do NOT "hide" the bright flash from any other observer and do NOT "silence" the very loud report of the gunshot sound. "FLASH-SUPPRESSORS" ARE NOT "SILENCERS" AND DO NOT MAKE THE SHOOTER "INVISIBLE" AT NIGHT. FACT: The Columbine-Killers did not violate any provision of "Assault Weapon" ban. The firearms used in Columbine included two sawed-off shotguns (already illegal), a pistol and a legally-produced TEC-9 "assault weapon". The "assault weapon" ban did not stop those two UNDERAGE killers from illegally acquiring the guns, illegally modifying the shotguns, illegally bringing them to school or illegally murdering 13 people. THE "ASSAULT WEAPON" BAN DID NOT TAKE GUNS OUT OF THE HANDS OF CRIMINALS. FACT: The Federal "Assault Weapon" Ban did NOT actually ban "assault weapons". The ban only prohibited the NEW PRODUCTION of certain firearms based on cosmetic features. There were hundreds of thousands of "assault weapons" legally owned, bought and sold BEFORE the ban was implemented and there were STILL hundreds of thousands of "assault weapons" being legally, peacefully and safely owned, bought and sold during the 10 years of the ban's existance. EXISTING "UZIs, AR-15s AND AK-47s" WERE COMPLETELY LEGAL TO OWN, BUY AND SELL FOR THE ENTIRE DURATION OF THE FEDERAL "ASSAULT WEAPON BAN". FACT: The 2nd Amendment is NOT about "duck hunting". Military-style firearms (like "assault weapons") are specifically protected by the 2nd Amendment according to the U.S. Supreme Court rulings in U.S. v. Miller (1939) and Lewis v. U.S. (1980). * In the Miller decision the Supreme Court stated, "In the absence of any evidence tending to show that possession of [a particular gun] has some reasonable relationship to the preservation or efficiency of a well regulated militia, we cannot say that the Second Amendment guarantees the right to keep and bear such an instrument". * In the Lewis decision, the Supreme Court stated, "the Second Amendment guarantees no right to keep and bear a firearm that does not have 'some reasonable relationship to the preservation or efficiency of a well-regulated militia'". SO ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT, POSSESSION OF MILITARY-STYLE FIREARMS ARE EXACTLY THE TYPE OF FIREARMS THAT ARE PROTECTED BY THE 2ND AMENDMENT. FACT: Nobody NEEDS to infringe on the 2nd Amendment in order to reduce crime. Our RIGHTS do not ebb and flow or come and go with the annual crime reports. Our RIGHTS do not depend upon what today's gangbangers or psychopaths decide to do to get their next thrill or rage out. Our RIGHTS are not contingent upon, qualified by nor based on what CRIMINALS use to commit crimes! Our RIGHTS are derived from natural law, specifically protected by the Constitution and are NOT dependant on the findings in any crime studies!!! Banning the possession of "assault weapons" because of some crime statistics is like banning the possession of sports cars because of drunk driving deaths or like banning the possession of the boxcutters because of 9-11. OUR RIGHTS ARE NOT DERIVED FROM NOR DETERMINED BY THE MOST RECENT CRIME STATISTICS! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, December 4th, 2006
4:05 pm	In loving memory Regis "Big Guy" "Old Man" Chester Crossed over 12-04-2006 The Rainbow Bridge Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... Author unknown... Beyond The Rainbow As much as I loved the life we had and all the times we played, I was so very tired and knew my time on earth would fade. I saw a wondrous image then of a place that's trouble-free. Where all of us can meet again to spend eternity. I saw the most beautiful Rainbow, and on the other side Where meadows rich and beautiful -- lush and green and wide! And running through the meadows as far as the eye could see Were animals of every sort as healthy as could be! My own tired, failing body was fresh and healed and new And I wanted to go run with them, but I had something left to do. I needed to reach out to you, to tell you I'm alright That this place is truly wonderful, then a bright Glow pierced the night. 'Twas the Glow of many Candles shining bright and strong and bold And I knew then that it held your love in its brilliant shades of gold. For although we may not be together in the way we used to be, We are still connected by a cord no eye can see. So whenever you need to find me, we're never far apart If you look beyond the Rainbow and listen with your heart. Current Mood: crushed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 26th, 2006
1:20 pm	He's on his way back to the states! :) Yep, my boy is on his way home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: ecstatic (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 15th, 2006
10:43 pm	Almost a Darwin Award nominee From the A.P. WICHITA, Kan. - A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, Wichita police said. The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle. ADVERTISEMENT He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf. When the shooting ended, the 23-year-old man managed to walk himself into the hospital for treatment, police said. He and his two accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested for aggravated attempted kidnapping and conspiracy to obstruct justice. The men were attempting to kidnap a teen in a dispute over stereo speakers, police said. If he'd just got that second testicle, he could have been nominated...darn it :) Current Mood: amused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
10:20 pm	A Different Christmas Poem A Different Christmas Poem: The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light, I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight. My wife was asleep, her head on my chest, My daughter beside me, angelic in rest. Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white, Transforming the yard to a winter delight. The sparkling lights in the tree I believe, Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve. My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep, Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep. In perfect contentment, or so it would seem, So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream. The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near, But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear. Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow. My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear, And I crept to the door just to see who was near. Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night, A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight. A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old, Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold. Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled, Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child. "What are you doing?" I asked without fear, "Come in this moment, it's freezing out here! Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve, You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!" For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift, Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts.. To the window that danced with a warm fire's light Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right, I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night." "It's my duty to stand at the front of the line, That separates you from the darkest of times. No one had to ask or beg or implore me, I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me. My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December," Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers." My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ', And now it is my turn and so, here I am. I've not seen my own son in more than a while, But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile. Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag, The red, white, and blue... an American flag. I can live through the cold and the being alone, Away from my family, my house and my home. I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet, I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat. I can carry the weight of killing another, Or lay down my life with my sister and brother.. Who stand at the front against any and all, To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall." "So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright, Your family is waiting and I'll be all right." "But isn't there something I can do, at the least, "Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast? It seems all too little for all that you've done, For being away from your wife and your son." Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret, "Just tell us you love us, and never forget. To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone, To stand your own watch, no matter how long. For when we come home, either standing or dead, To know you remember we fought and we bled. Is payment enough, and with that we will trust, That we mattered to you as you mattered to us." PLEASE, Would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our U.S.service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
10:45 am	Bent You know, I don't go on to anyone's journal and inform them that they need to meet the Goddess and tell them that I pray that they find her... WHAT makes people think they have the right to come onto a blog and make remarks like that? Someone that is so chickenshit they have to post under "anonymous"???? Hell, if you're going to make blanket statements like that, have enough balls to leave your flippin' name. As it stands, the offending remark has been removed, and that's the best I can do... So, to avoid the pesky little fanatics that are apparently trolling LJ, I've now changed my settings. No comments will be allowed without screening except from those on my friend's list who are logged in. Anyone that wishes to make remarks that isn't currently on my list, feel free to request me to add you to my friends' list. :) I hate to have to do that, but right now I don't need the hassle of the holier-better-than-thou fundies. Normally, it wouldn't bother me much, although I do hate to do a battle of wits with unarmed people, but right now I have neither the time, the energy or the desire to mess around with those amoebas.... Current Mood: irritated (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 14th, 2006
10:11 pm	Hoorah for the Marine Corp! Yes, I know I'm an Army Mom, but the Marine Corp is top on my list right now for keeping the Church and State separate this holiday season. And let's face it, the holiday season is less and less about religion. At any rate, here's the story: Tue Nov 14, 1:48 PM ET A talking Jesus doll has been turned down by the Marine Reserves' Toys for Tots program. A suburban Los Angeles company offered to donate 4,000 of the foot-tall dolls, which quote Bible verses, for distribution to needy children this holiday season. The battery-powered Jesus is one of several dolls manufactured by one2believe, a division of the Valencia-based Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Co., based on Biblical figures. But the charity balked because of the dolls' religious nature. Toys are donated to kids based on financial need and "we don't know anything about their background, their religious affiliations," said Bill Grein, vice president of Marine Toys for Tots Foundation, in Quantico, Va. As a government entity, Marines "don't profess one religion over another," Grein said Tuesday. "We can't take a chance on sending a talking Jesus doll to a Jewish family or a Muslim family." Michael La Roe, director of business development for both companies, said the charity's decision left him "surprised and disappointed." "The idea was for them to be three-dimensional teaching tools for kids," La Roe said. "I believe as a churchgoing person, anyone can benefit from hearing the words of the Bible." According to the company's Web site, the button-activated, bearded Jesus, dressed in hand-sewn cloth outfits and sandals, recites Scripture such as "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again" and "Love your neighbor as yourself." It has a $20 retail value. Grein also questioned whether children would welcome a gift designed for religious instruction. "Kids want a gift for the holiday season that is fun," he said. The program distributed 18 million stuffed animals, games, toy trucks and other gifts to children in 2005. Cross-posted to myspace. Current Mood: exhausted (Comment on this)
Friday, October 27th, 2006
3:00 pm	Another final, and another class successfully passed! Rehabilitation nursing is a done did deal. Ten weeks of clinicals are also finished. I can sit my CNA boards after next week. Wasn't going to do that, but if I do, I can get a job PRN at one of the local specialty hospitals and make a killing, comparatively speaking... Other than pissing my daughter off because I need my car tonight, it's a good life right now. :) Current Mood: accomplished (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 20th, 2006
3:48 pm	So...it's been a semi-stressful week. I've not heard from Josh in a while. Normally, I wouldn't stress over that too badly, since I know how it goes over there, thanks to his explanations. However, with the increased violence in the Baghdad area, I can't seem to quite grasp the concept completely of "no news is good news." I'm not freaking like I did when he first went over to Iraq, so that is a marked improvement, I suppose. Clinicals were....hard....this week. My rotation was through the burn unit. That in itself wasn't as bad as I'd been dreading. Oddly enough, I've yet to see anything that's turned my stomach. However, there were some burn injuries that were too close for comfort to what Heath suffered, and what to Jon endured, as well. The first day was the worst, but I made it through. As I was coming home today, several of the songs that were played at Heath's funeral came on on different radio stations as I was flipping through. That gave me a sense of him still kind of watching out over us, and maybe letting me know that everything's going to be all right. Still with basically the same group of fellow students on my next rotation. This is a good thing, for the most part, although there are a couple of exceptions. Speaking of school, I'm still on the director's honor roll, so that's a good thing. The classes have gotten tougher, but then again, my study habits have improved over the last the last 5 months, so it evens out. I can't hardly believe that 5 months have passed by...it's gone very quickly. Five months down, six to go...I'm nearly half-way "home!" James started back to football practice this week. He seems to have healed from his concussion, but tomorrow will be the ultimate test. Game hits are by far harder than practice hits. Keep your fingers crossed for him on that one, please. Heard through the grapevine that Sis was moving out. I was less than pleased when I heard her roommate was a 34 year old man. However, that seems to have fallen through. I'm wondering if it wasn't because she found out just exactly how much it would actually cost to be on her own. Not to mention the fact that she doesn't have enough credit built up to qualify for a new car loan and that her full coverage insurance would be high enough to choke a giraffe. I'm sure that probably played into the equation, as well. Guess that's enough of a bore for one time...to those of you that made it all the way through, thanks for bearing with me! :) (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 16th, 2006
7:11 am	Odd phone call from my oldest child... Josh called and left a message on my cell phone the other day. I feel like shit because I had the damned thing on me, just had forgotten to turn the ringer back on. At any rate, he was going to some big "stupid" mission and would be gone for several days. In truth, this phone call bothered me a bit, because he's never specifically called to let me know he's going on a mission. Then today, I read a news story on how they're pulling troops back into Baghdad to try to retake control of the capital from the insurgents. Insurgents, I might add, that have been responsible for the massive numbers of tortured and dumped bodies that have been found as of late. So, now the mommy-worries have really kicked into over drive. Any prayers, candles lit, anything, would be truly appreciated. Thanks... (crossposted to MySpace) Current Mood: anxious (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 12th, 2006
2:54 pm	Two years today... ...and the pain still cuts like a red-hot knife. Current Mood: crushed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, September 8th, 2006
11:19 pm	I Believe By Diamond Rio Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin I feel you come back again And it’s like you haven’t been gone a moment from my side Like the tears were never cried Like the hands of time are holding you and me And with all my heart I’m sure we’re closer than we ever were I don’t have to hear or see, I’ve got all the proof I need There are more than angels watching over me I believe, Oh I believe Chorus Now when you die your life goes on It doesn’t end here when you’re gone Every soul is filled with light It never ends and if I’m right Our love can even reach across eternity I believe, Oh I believe Forever, you’re a part of me Forever, in the heart of me I will hold you even longer if I can Oh the people who don’t see the most See that I believe in ghosts And if that makes me crazy, then I am ‘Cause I believe Oh I believe There are more than angels watching over me I believe, Oh I believe Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin I feel you come back again... And I believe (1 Comment |Comment on this)
7:07 pm	In another lifetime... today would have been a pretty good day. Culminating in dinner and a movie. Most likely no cake, but that would have been all good, and par for the day. In this lifetime, it's hanging at the house, dreading going to something I'd actually been looking forward to going to...not wanting to be alone in a crowd, not wanting to be alone today. My personal pity party, I guess...so, since no one else remembered: Happy fucking birthday to me. Current Mood: depressed (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 28th, 2006
5:15 pm	So...another week starts... Josh flew to Midland early Saturday morning. While I completely understand him wanting to spend time with friends that in reality are closer than a lot of "family," it still broke my heart to know that he's still in the states, but not here with us. *sighs* It's so hard to let go... At any rate, our visit was great. He was thrilled that he got me to shoot the AK 47 and the AR 15. Yup, just call me Mellie Oakley, I guess. I don't like the AK 47. Kicks too hard, and I don't like the recoil after the initial kick... The AR 15? Dead center on a 'reactive target'. That would have been a 2 liter bottle of hot root beer. Reactive is a mild understatement. I bet that sucker flew 15 feet up into the air if it went an inch, and root beer spewed everywhere. To say that the boys were shocked that Mom hit the target dead on was also a mild understatement...guess they think they're the only ones that have ever fired a weapon! ;) Gun shows, PPD, mixing with relatives, and school with the first week of clinicals made for a very busy and very exhausting week. Finals were over the day Josh flew in. I obviously passed everything (or I wouldn't have proceeded on to clinicals) so all of the nail biting and nervous tension was for naught. We started Med-surg on Monday after the A & P final...that one's going to be a bitch. Not so much that it's hard, probably not as hard as A & P was, just that it is so much more detailed, and one has to put deductive reasoning to work. I'm sure I can handle that, but so many disease processes have so many similar presentations. Clinicals were a bit...daunting. It's one thing to know the principles behind certain actions, and be able to perform those actions on either classmates or maniquins in clinical lab...it's a whole 'nother ball of wax to do them on a real live patient. Then there is the anger of watching licensed nurses do things that are beat into our heads at school that it is wrong, wrong, WRONG to do. Bed sores abound, and I watched a nurse cross-contaminate several bed sores, as well as contaminate the container of medication. Then there was the charge nurse that had NO idea how to read a chart for a patients voiding records...a CHARGE nurse, that blew it off, saying that that was the aid's job, not hers...excuse me??? She's the one ultimately responsible for the care of those patients...she'd damned well BETTER know how to read the fucking charts. *sighs* Ok, bitch session over, and now I feel better! ;) If nothing else, those experiences are teaching me how NOT to be, once I pass my classes and my boards. Football season is, once again, upon us. James had his first game Saturday. He was 2 pounds too heavy to carry the ball this game, but he made a spectacular showing on the line. Our team won 40-0, which was sweet revenge against a team that soundly spanked us last year. Jon's first game in on Labor Day...what a day to kick of the JV season, huh? So much for the plans of having a 4-day get-a-way. :( I notice that someone I've not heard from for a year has returned, and has added me back to her friends list. If you happen to read this: (((Sue))) I've missed you... Current Mood: good (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 17th, 2006
12:09 pm	He's BACK HOME ON U.S. SOIL!!!!! Josh just called!!!! He's touched down at DFW, and will be touching down at 1330 at Tulsa International!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do believe the next hour and 20 minutes will seem longer than the last week has been... Current Mood: ecstatic (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
1:58 pm	A small amount of time to breathe... And, apparently I've passed everything so far. Several people got notes to go see the director, and they've been removed from the program, I obviously wasn't one of them. Two finals today, both for dosage calc. A written test, and a floor test. Pharm test will come Thursday, along with Foundations. Monday is the one I'm really sweating, which is the A&P final. 20 hours of homework before the Foundations final, which I'll probably be able to whip out most of tonight, since we don't have anything tomorrow except for CPR re-certification, and because we were let out early today. Accomplished some much needed yard work when I got back this morning, before it got too hot. It's 90 degrees out right now, but the relative humidity is 49 percent. (5(90)=9C+160...450-160=290...290/9=32.2C...Good Gods...I'm even doing conversions on my LJ now...some one please just shoot me! lol) Haven't heard from Josh, so I assume that means he's left Baghdad. He was supposed to leave Sunday for Kuwait, and then said he would probably be there a couple of days waiting for a military transport out. He should be home, hopefully, Thursday or Friday. It cannot get here fast enough for me. :) Current Mood: ditzy (2 Comments |Comment on this)